Broken
by InWonderlandAgain
Summary: Maybe it's the way he was raised, maybe it's his father's fault, in anyway it's what got kurt so messed up, so hurt, so sick... so broken. Rated M to be safe. Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** Maybe it's the way he was raised, maybe it's his fathers fault, in anyway it's what got Kurt so messed up, so hurt, so sick… so broken.

**Warning:** mentions of abuse, rape, self-harm, use of rough language! Ratings may go up as the story goes!

**AN:** okay! So I wanted to say that I know things seem a little bit scattered here but it won't be in next chapters I just wanted to emphasize Kurt's life situation so I called this chapter prologue, of course it's not totally understood here and there will be more explanations.

**Before you read:** in this story Kurt isn't the Kurt you know, I mean it is Kurt and of course he still will have similarities but here was raised differently, his mother didn't die and his father isn't like in the show (which is why I decide to change his name, Burt just didn't fit because he was just so good in glee) also Puck and Quinn never had Beth and puck had a traumatic event as a child (which you will find out!) Also Kurt and puck will not be in glee club, okay that's it I think

**PS:** obviously, I do not own glee :P

**And lastly (I swear):** I promise next chapters will be longer! (if you want me to continue I mean :)

He doesn't get it... He wishes he did but... He doesn't... Maybe it's because of how he was raised, maybe it's his father's fault, he doesn't know... and he wouldn't want to.

For him seeing a parent and child in the street kissing and hugging and smiling... That's not fun... It's not even pretty... It's actually kind of gross, he can't help but think... Though that could be because the last time his mother hugged him was when he was... What, four? Five?... Something like that...

He's sitting there on a bench staring at them... The mother and child, their laughing now, he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket but... He knows it's probably from home and he doesn't want to answer...

Eventually the mother and child carry on their way. And Kurt gives up and grabs his phone, he sees the word 'George' labeled and tenses what could his father want? He answers his phone

"what?" he says coldly

"Kurt?" oh its his mother "When are you getting home?" she sounds bad... Probably something his father did...

"soon mom" it calms her down, he knows she's relieved knowing that he's still talking to her, that he's not ignoring her, that he doesn't hate her.

Yeah they haven't hugged in a long time but... It's not her fault... It's that man's... Him he's not talking to, him he tried to ignore, him he hates. Why wouldn't he? He has every right to... every reason to.

"okay honey, don't be too late." she answers sounding more relaxed.

"okay mom" he can almost hear her smile on the other side as she hangs up.

He puts his phone back in his pocked he should probably get going but he just can't bring himself to get up... He doesn't want to go home, not yet. He sits there...

When Kurt finally does get home, he's mother is in the kitchen fixing dinner for his father who's in the living room in front of the TV with a beer in his hand screaming something at the referee, there's a soccer game on.

"I'm home" he calls out. He's father ignores him and his mother smiles at him

"hi, how was your day sweetie?" his mother asked weekly...

"it was fine..." She seems upset at his answer.

"oh... Well honey don't stay up too late your starting school tomorrow remember?..."

Oh right, they just moved here and he's starting school tomorrow... in a new town... in the middle of the year... That's just great.

"yeah mom..." he smiles at her and walked up to his room, and as he closes the door he can hear his father screaming something at his mother. He closes his eyes and leans against the door when his phone goes off, it's a text message from a friend in his last school,

'Good luck tomorrow! I know you'll have a blast! :) Maxi~'

Kurt smiles, Max is his best friend he's the only one that knows about Kurt's life.. about his father. He texts back

'thank you maxi, I love you 3'

Kurt changes clothes, brushes his teeth and lies down on his bed, and it's not long until he falls asleep

Kurt hates mornings, He hates waking up, mostly because when he's awake he has to be aware of the life he's living in… not like in dreams, in his dreams he can be whoever he wants, do whatever he wants, be wherever he wants… though as long as it's not here to Kurt it really doesn't matter where he is, anywhere but here would be better…

Kurt's gets up pretty early since he couldn't really sleep and starts to get ready for a crappy first day in a crappy new school...

He opens his closet and grabs the first thing he can see, a white V-neck T-shirt and black skinny jeans... If you didn't know any better it looked like an expensive pair of jeans but like he can afford such things... He gets dressed and walks to the bathroom to brush his teeth and fix his hair.

As much as he doesn't want to go, it is his first day at a new school, he does want to look nice.

He goes down stairs to get a cup of warm milk, it's a habit from ever since he can remember... a cup of warm milk every morning.

As he drinks his milk Kurt's father walks in and suddenly Kurt feels the need to vomit.

He's father opens the fridge and grabs some cheese and bread and starts to make himself a sandwich.

The silence between them is agonizing...

Kurt wants to leave but he just can't get his feet to move from where he's standing, he wants to scream but he can't open his mouth, he wants to stay strong but his eyes can't stop them self's from filling up.

When his father finishes he leaves for the living room, and Kurt finally lets the tears fall.

So, so far hasn't been that bad, Kurt met this girl in science class who's been stalking him all day but other than that it's all good so far. He's in the cafeteria and as he decides to skip on lunch he turns around he jumps because there she is again.

"Kurt!" she says way too happily, he tries to smile

"Rachel... "

"Come sit with me!" she takes his arm and all but drags him to her table, there are a few people there that Rachel introduces him to

"Kurt, these are my friends" she points at them "Mercedes, Quinn, Sam, and this is my boyfriend Finn" she gestured at an extremely tall boy who sits next to her, she then turns to them and points at Kurt "everyone, this is Kurt!"

Kurt tries to smile as warmly as he can and everyone smiles back at him. They seem nice enough...

"So Kurt" Mercedes turns to him "how do you like it here so far?"

"Oh...um yeah it's fine" Kurt answers simply, what else can he say?

"You should join a club! That's what all the new kids do" Finn suggests to him.

"Ha... yeah I'm not really a clubs person" Kurt can't help but think that's a stupid suggestion...

"well you should be! you could join our club, we're in glee club!" Rachel stats eagerly

Kurt stares at her... What the fuck! Does she really think he's the kind of guy to sing and dance and shit! Then again they just met and he's been trying to be nice... And oh great Kurt just noticed their all staring at him to hear his answer... What does he say?

"um-" he's cut off by a slamming noise and everyone turn to the direction that it came from,

"what the hell was that?" Quinn asks

"I don't know, but everyone's going there, come on!" Sam pulls her over there and everyone else gets up as well, Kurt too.

When they get there everyone is crowding around something and Kurt gets pushed in the crowd and really close to what appears to be a fight between two guys.

They're beating each other and everyone around them is screaming 'fight!' over and over,

Fuck someone keeps pushing Kurt and he's getting really close to the scene, if they don't stop he'll literally fall into the fight!

Oh crap. Too late.

Kurt gets pushed on one of the guys and hits his head... great now his head hurts, and while he's passing out he catches a glimpse of the guy he fell on, is that a?... Mohawk? Really?...

Kurt opens his eyes and a sharp pain crosses through his head he closes them tight and puts a hand on his forehead... "ow..." he mumbles to himself, how the hell did he get here?... Oh right, he fell on some guy and hit his head...

He hears movement and moves his head to the right to see a young boy lying on a bed just like Kurt, and he has a Mohawk! Is that who he fell on? Is he okay?... then a women appears,

"oh! Your awake, how are you feeling sweetie?" she's probably the school nurse

"um... my head hurts a little..." Kurt answers

"yeah… you did hit your head pretty hard..." she comes close to look at his bump "but that one did even harder," she nods at the boy sleeping "do you remember? You fell on him"

Kurt nods "...yeah"

"well he tried to catch you and slipped, he hit his head as well but, you know harder..." Kurt feels bad "plus before that he was also fighting another boy so he has a black eye as well and some other wounds..." oh right... it was a fight he was pushed into...

"do you know what they were fighting about?..." Kurt has to ask

"no..." she answers confused, probably wondering why he cares, he doesn't seem like the fighting type does he?

"he insulted my family..." they both turn to the other bed to see that the boy has woken up

"oh Noah!" the nurse rushes to him "how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine" he answers annoyed and sits up

Kurt wants to say something... but what?

The nurse is fussing over him, he's shirtless... and really well built if kurt might add.

"um.." they both look at him "I...I'm Sorry I got you... knocked out..." crap couldn't he thought about why to say before he said it?

The boy looked at him "...whatever"

"I'm Kurt, by the way Kurt Hummel" Kurt is trying to be nice, frankly he's not good at it.

The boy stars but eventually answers "puck"

Kurt's confused "but I thought it was Noah?" he looks at the nurse and she opens her mouth to answer but the boy answers instead

"My name is Noah Puckerman, most people call me Puckerman or just Puck" he smirks at him and Kurt flushes a little

"I see... well it's nice to meet you Noah"

The boy looks at him confused "I just said my name is puck"

"Um no... You said that most people call you Puckerman or just Puck, so the rest call you Noah right?"

The boy in question stars at him for a moment, and then just chuckles a little and the nurse as well.

"Whatever dude" the boy says still smiling "see ya' later Mrs. Nurse" he gets up and goes for the door

"its Mrs. K'!" the nurse shouts after him and sighs then looks at Kurt "okay sweetie if you feel better you can go, that bump should go down in a day or two" she smiles at him

and Kurt smiles back grabs his bag and heads for the door "bay Mrs. K" he says as he closes the door behind him.

"Kurt!" Rachel screams as she runs towards him "we were just about to go see you!" she squeaks out

"yeah are you okay man? That was a pretty hard fall..." Sam adds as the rest of them gather in

"yeah... I'm fine" Kurt smiles, and they all smile back

"well we all made planes to go to breadsticks tonight, why don't you come?" Mercedes adds

Kurt is a little shell shocked, he raised his brows "what?... uh-I mean..." well they just met, they don't even know him... Rachel smiles at him and Finn also and Mercedes is grinning and Quinn and Sam give him a little smirk...

wow... Kurt knows that it's wrong but he can't help feeling a little bit sick... he's just... not used to this... he didn't have any friends besides maxi in his old school... though he did have bullies... plenty of them… he barely knows to communicate nicely, no one likes him, why would they?... let's face it, his father messed him up. And not in a small way.

"um... yeah... I mean sure... I-"

"-great!" Rachel cuts him off, again "so" she takes out her phone "your number?"

When Kurt gets home the last thing he expects is to be alone... his mother is usually at home... where would she have to be?…

It's nice... when no one's here... Kurt likes the quite

But soon enough Kurt's mother comes home with groceries, so he decides to go out, he tells his mother he's meeting some kids he met at school and will probably come home late, its only six though and he's meeting Rachel and other at eight, so he takes some money grabs his iPod and catches a bus to town.

When he gets there Kurt starts to walk around and listed to music, just trying to pass time... he walks around the city, browse through clothing stores… it's funny how they make him smile, they're just clothes, he can't even pay for them.

time passes quickly as its already 19:45 and he should probably start going towards the restaurant, he waits at the bus stop when he notices a familiar face in the crowd of people... a mohawk, it's that Noah kid, Kurt follows him with his eyes he's really handsome... kurt sees him take out a cigarette and fish in his pocket for a light and sees when three guys jump him from behind, one of them has a gun in his pants he takes it out and points it at him, everybody in the area start to scream and freak out and run away... Kurt probably should too but... he can't get himself to move... he stands, and watches.

**AN**: Okay! So I know it's a crappy place to stop but I really want to hear your thoughts, should I continue? Cause I do have an awesome plan and I would really appreciate if you gave this story a chance! Please review! (again, next chapters will be longer, sorry )


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary:** Maybe it's the way he was raised, maybe it's his fathers fault, in anyway it's what got Kurt so messed up, so hurt, so sick… so broken.

**Warning:** mentions of abuse, rape, self-harm, use of rough language! Ratings may go up as the story goes!

**AN:** umm... So there's a part in the middle that… well you know you should learn from the summery what to expect!

Kurt's used to violence, he's not scared of being hit... when he was a kid his father would come home almost every day drunk... he hit him... until his mother stepped in and he would hit her instead... he's used to hurt, pain, he had it every day, all the time.

As for death?... Kurt's father would hit... Kurt doesn't know death, but he always thought he'd run from it if it came, he thought he would be scared...

Yet he can't get himself to move away... can't move... can't feel... can't breath...

He is actually seeing, seeing the boy noah that he met just today actually face death... he could get shot, he could get killed, but he can't run away those boys are circling him, he lays there on the ground unable to do anything...

What can Kurt do? How can he help? ... he can't.

"son of a bitch I finally got you!" the boy who was holding the gun yelled at noah smirking evilly, and the other boys were surrounding him.

Noah was on the ground bleeding from his lip that was cut when he fell, he looked up at the boy.. he doesn't look scared, he looks kind of emotionless...

"oh Benny you still mad about that thing?" he smirked up at the boy

"don't call me that you piece of shit!" the boy seemed pissed, Noah's smile grew

"Benny-" the boy cut him off

"-unless you want to die right here right now you will shut up and listen!" Benny, or whatever his name is, shouted at him, noah's smile went away... by now the street was completely empty apart from Kurt and a few shop keepers who were probably too afraid to go out side...

should Kurt go? What and leave the boy there? He can't, what should he do?

The boy started to laugh "you crappy piece of crap boy, what? did you really think you were gonna get away with that? are you really that stupid?" he kept his gun pointed at the boy

Noah sat up and ran his fingers through his mohawk "I didn't think anything Ben, it's you who's over thinking things" Noah stated

"oh yeah? what am I over thinking? The fact that you and your piece of shit friends stole all our money?"

"you mean the money that YOU stole?" Noah almost shouted at him

The boy kneeled down next to Noah and his gun right next to his head

"you wanna play games with me bitch? Cause I can play" the boy teased him and Noah looked about ready to tear his head off

Suddenly a police siren was heard getting closer "shit!" on of the guys shouted and Benny turned to Noah "you ain't seen the last of me!" he said as he and the other boys ran off,

Noah sighed and got up as the police arrived, he dusted his pants picket up the cigaret he dropped took out his lighter and went on his way... Kurt felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, he took it out and saw a text from Rachel, was it already eight?

'Where are you? everyone's here, come on :)'

He texted a quick 'I'm almost there' just as the bus arrived.

"Kurt!" Rachel stood and waved her hand at him to show where they're sitting, Kurt walked over and Rachel pooled him to a sit next to her

"hey dude, we're glad you could make it" Finn said to him

"dude?" he asked again wondering if Kurt's okay since he hasn't responded

"Kurt?" Rachel wonderd also

"mm?" Kurt suddenly realized their talking to him "sorry what did you say?"

"are you okay?" they asked curiously

"yes, yes I am, I'm sorry I was just... thinking about something my uh-mom told me" he lied, he couldn't stop thinking about the incident earlier with Noah.

Rachel and Finn gave him curious looks but Kurt brushed it off and everyone turned to the menus.

Even as Kurt was eating he couldn't get what had happened out of his head, Rachel kept asking him if he's okay and he answered he's fine.

It's too bad, if it wasn't for that incident Kurt might have been able to enjoy this evening...

On their way home everyone parted ways to their cars and since Kurt said he was taking the bus he was offered a ride by everyone, and accepted from Rachel since it was just her alone and frankly he wasn't really in the mood for a party.

On the way Kurt still couldn't stop thinking...

"Kurt... I'm sorry if we're boring" rachel suddenly said

"what?" Kurt asked "what do you mean?"

"well... You've been awfully quite the entire evening" Rachel said a little hurt in her tone

"oh... Rachel I'm sorry I just have a lot on my mind, honestly it's not you guys"

Rachel looked at him for a moment before sighing and smiling "alright Kurt"

Kurt wondered whether or not he should ask her about him... eventually he decides he should, what's the worst that could happen?

"umm Rachel..." Kurt said quietly

"yeah?" she said shortly,

"do you um-... I mean" he tried to smile "what do you know about a guy named Noah Puckerman?"

Rachel looked at him, they were outside his house and they just sat there for a moment until rachel spoke again...

"why?..." she asked curious

"um... no reason, I just... sort of met him today..."

Rachel looked outside for a moment, then she looked back at Kurt, he watched her with curious eyes... she sighed and opened her mouth

"I don't really know a lot about him other that he's not a good boy Kurt, he's really not the kind of guy you want to hang with" she answered

"...why?" Kurt asked in a really small voice, frankly he was kind of scared to hear the answer

Rachel sighed "Kurt... he smokes, he drinks, he probably does drugs, he was in juvie twice and he steals"

"...well... okay..."

"okay? Kurt rumors say he's killed someone, and usually I don't listen to gossip but frankly I wouldn't be surprised if its true!" Rachel almost screamed at him

Kurt looked at her, seriously does she really think if he's killed someone no one would have found out and put him in jail?

"alright Rachel relax, it's not like I'm gonna be best friends with him or anything..." Kurt answered to calm her down

Rachel nodded and smiled "okay Kurt" she leaned in and gave Kurt a hug which was totally weird but he didn't want to show it so he hugged her back "good night" she said smiling

"good night Rachel" he said as he got out of the car and watched her drive away, kurt thinks he might really like her if she talks less, he sighed and went inside his house.

As he opened the door he heard a loud crash, it frightened the shit out of him but his heart rate came back down when he realized the sound was from the tv his father was watching.

He walked inside the living room and loudly said "I'm home" his mother immediately looked up at him and smiled weakly while his father only glanced at him and then back to the TV...

"how was your day sweetie?" his mother asked obviously tired

He smiled at her "it was fine mom" she nodded

"hey, get me a beer would ya?" Kurt's fathers suddenly asked no one in particular… like he really needs another beer, next to him are four empty bottles… and even though it was pronounced as a question it obviously wasn't meant as one.

"yes dear" his mother said, dried tears in her eyes, she got up to go for the kitchen when Kurt stopped her

"don't mom, I'll get it" Kurt turned to leave for the kitchen when he's father suddenly shouted

"No! I don't want a filthy beer, I want a straight, NORMAL one!" he screamed... if Kurt's mother noticed how his father said 'straight' and 'normal' she decided to ignore it...

Kurt's father was never a good father, never... but he got even worse when Kurt had told his mother he thought he might be gay, and his father heard him and just charged his fist right on Kurt's face so hard he had a black eye for months... they weren't so close to begin with but after that their relationship completely fell overboard... Kurt was only twelve... It's been four years and it only got worse.

His mother walked over to him and was about to cress his cheek when he moved his face away, so she just put her hand on his shoulder for a second and walked over to the kitchen, Kurt felt like crying so he ran upstairs right into his room and let his tears silently fall down his cheeks and onto the floor

he was hurting… and only one thing to do came mind…

Kurt walked over to the bathroom and locked the door, he opened the top drawer in the cabinet there and looked for his painkiller, and he found it, a razor, just the sharp part at the top, he sat down against the door and pulled down his sleeve to revel very ugly scars, some looked old and some looked relatively knew... cuts... It almost seemed like it was abused for real... yet this, this was the only thing he couldn't blame on his father... well, not the physical part anyway.

Kurt brought the razor to his hand and ran it right over an old mark that was now open once again... he didn't feel it... it used to hurt when he did it at first... but somewhere along the way it just stopped hurting... he just got used to it... the pain. The blood now dripping on the floor and his clothes...

He sat there for a while after that.

The next day in school Kurt tried to not show his mood (still doing that whole be-nice-people-will-like-you thing...) wondering when someone might ask him why he's always wearing long sleeves even in the summer and what excuse should he make up...

"Kurt!" and then Rachel shows up

"Rachel" he said as she walked over to him at his locker

"good morning" she said way too happily

"morning" Finn appeared out of nowhere

"hey!" Rachel said and he kissed her lightly, they look so cute together it makes Kurt almost want to throw up. Then the bell rang

Rachel turned to Kurt "see you at lunch?"

Kurt nodded and Finn and she went on to their class.

Kurt sighed and waited till the halls were empty and closed his locker, he should probably get going to his class... starting to walk to class he turned a corner he heard a shout

"Noah! Get back here you do not get to just leave class!" he saw a teacher leave a classroom running after that Noah guy, Kurt didn't know what to do so he hid behind the corner he just past "Noah!" she kept screaming at him and when she finally ran out of power she shouted "just be at detention!"

"will do!" Noah finally answered and the teacher went back to her class, Kurt heard the boy getting closer, and didn't want him to know he was hiding, so he turned the corner and what do you know? he bumped into him and fell down, again

"ow" Kurt mumbles and sits up

"oh sorry, you okay?" Noah asked him

Kurt rubbed his back "...yeah... fine"

Noah reached his hand out and Kurt looked up at him... the boy looked emotionless, just like the other day only he wasn't smoking a cigarette in the street like a gangster and a random dude wasn't pointing a gun at his head... Kurt hesitated but took his hand and Noah pulled him up, he dusted his clothes and looked at the boy again "thank you..." he said quietly, Noah shrugged his shoulders and looked around

"hey you got a light?" he suddenly asked Kurt, and he looked at him in shock

"w-what?" he asked

"a light?" Noah said once again

"...your gonna smoke in school?" Kurt asked in disbelieve

Noah nodded "why not?" he asked like it was such a regular thing to do

"...um, well no I don't... have a light" Kurt said with a half-smile thinking about how the boy seemed to care about absolutely nothing

Noah nodded "that's too bad" he said with a frown "I really could use a smoke right about now" then, he looked down at Kurt "hey... what was your name again?"

Kurt looked at him "...Kurt" he said quietly and Noah nodded "oh, right, right..." he looked away and then back at Kurt "well anyway Kurt, goodbye" he turned to leave

"bye Noah" Kurt said and walked past him quickly to get away from him as far as he can, but Noah suddenly grabbed his shirt so he couldn't go, and pulled him back to the spot he was standing

"I already told you to call me puck"

Kurt was shaking, just a little bit "what does it matter?" he asked him

"puck is better for my reputation" he said simply

"your reputation?" Kurt repeated

"yeah, Noah just doesn't sound bad ass" he explained

"well... believe me no one cares how I call you, it won't hurt your reputation" Kurt said and quickly pushed past Noah

"hey wait!" Noah called to him, but Kurt continued to walk and ignore the boy. So much for hiding the bad mood today.

**AN: **okay! So I personally thought the last part at school was unnecessary but I really just wanted to have Puck and Kurt interact so… yeah ^^ ~ thoughts? Reviews! Pleaseeeee!


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